New Moons
by nowthatspink
Summary: It's their last year at Hogwarts. James is trying to win over Lily, and she's trying to prevent just that. Written from both Lily and James' point of view.
1. first week

**I do not own any of these characters.**

**Hello again!** I really appreciate all of the comments from my last story. You are all wonderful! Many of you asked if I was going to write any more...so here it is! It is just a one shot for now, but I have plans to make it into a longer fic if you all like it. Let me know! Thanks!!!

**-----------**

_This is never going to work._ Lily thought.

Lily stood in the doorway of her new bedroom, the _Heads_ bedroom, with her arms crossed. She glanced around at the common room area, perfect in its entirety, everything in its place. The sofa cushions had yet to be sat on, the wood was clean and polished, not a hint of dust.

This is what Lily saw as she scanned the room from right to left. And then yes, ah yes, the room's one imperfection: James Potter.

There he stood, the most annoying prick known to man, in Lily's eyes anyway, staring her down, flashing what he assumed to be the most irresistible smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and let out a small _pscht_, then turning around and heading into her room.

"No, Lily wait!" James said, his smile falling. He ran over to her door.

"No, _Potter,_ I will not." Lily said. "Yes, we unfortunately have to be spending an entire year together but don't think that I will-"

"Be able to resist my charm much longer? Well I already counted on that," James cut her off with another one of his enticing grins.

"Unbelievable," Lily said, turning back around. "No, actually, quite expected."

"Aw, come on Evans, you know you love-"

Lily turned around, met his hazel eyes and slammed the door in his face.

But this time, instead of his cocky smile, Lily thought she saw an unfamiliar frown. Hmm, maybe James Potter did have a heart. Lily stopped herself; what a silly thought.

She could have sworn she heard James whisper _sorry_ from the other side of her door, but it was probably just the wind.

Lily finished unpacking and made sure everything was in order. Although she got to see her friends at dinner, she missed them already. She then decided to head over to the Gryffindor common room and catch up with all her friends.

She opened her door quietly, seeing if James was in the head's common room. He was. Lily was about to leave her room when she saw him sitting on the couch, wand in hand. She was momentarily mesmerized. James was flicking his wand at a hovering object. It was a book, no wait, now it was a feather, now an hourglass, now a book again, now a lily…

"Lily!" James said surprised as he noticed her standing there. The lily fell onto the couch.

Lily sucked in a breath. _Wow, he really is amazing at transfiguration._

"I want to say sorry for before, I really am trying to change-" James started but was cut off.

"Sure," Lily said, and headed for the door. "Sure, fine,"

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"Gryffindor common room, not that it's any of your business."

"Mind if I join?" James asked.

_Yes_.Was Lily's first reaction, but she just ignored the question and kept walking.

Within seconds he was right next to her.

_How does he catch up so quickly?_ Lily thought, then glancing over at him and noting his height. _Ah, that's how._

"So Evans did you have a good summer?" James asked.

Lily sighed, he was at least being civil. "Lovely." She replied.

There were a few moments of awkward silence until James broke it. "Aren't you going to ask me how my summer was?" James asked, messing up his hair in the back.

Lily rolled her eyes at his annoying habit. "And how was your summer Potter?"

"Lovely," James said, imitating her tone perfectly, adding his own grin on at the end.

Lily suppressed a laugh, a smile creeping at the corner of her mouth. She quickly straightened her facial expression and said the password to the Fat Lady. They got there quicker than she thought.

She quickly hurried up the girls steps, eager to see her friends, and making sure not to look back at James, uneasy to see what his face expression was.

"Alice!" Lily yelled, and engulfed her friend in an embrace.

"Lily! I'm so glad you came up! Becca just left, but I'm sure she'll be back soon!" Alice said, sitting down on her bed with Lily.

"I've missed you both so much!" Lily said.

"Tell me about your summer!" Alice exclaimed. "And I heard about James being head boy…actually the whole school did," Alice remarked, laughing.

Lily sighed. "Oh I have no idea how I am going to deal with that _all_ year."

"I think you'll figure it out," Alice said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked.

"Well for the first time in a long time you didn't burst in here complaining about him, so that's a start,"

"It's only been a day!"

"It's taken a lot less than that to get your knickers in a twist." Alice reminded her.

Lily put her pride to the back of her head for a moment and seriously contemplated the situation. "He has seemed to change a bit." She said. "That is, he didn't try to trick my door into dumping water on me, or anyone else for that matter. I don't know…maybe he's…"

"Maybe he's what?" Alice asked. "Actually a good guy?"

"Who am I kidding, this is James Potter we are talking about," Lily said.

"Yes it is…"

"Look at the time!" Lily exclaimed. "I have to get ready and then start my rounds!"

"Better hurry then missy!" Alice joked. "I'll come by with Becca soon. But I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast!"

Lily headed down the stairs into the common room, wondering why Sirius Black was running around in all sorts of directions. Ah, he was chasing James' snitch. How typical. Just as she was about to pass the Marauders, James spoke to her.

"Lily! I wanted to tell you that…"

"I'm starting the rounds Potter. Your shift starts in an hour." She said, cutting him off. She then sighed, sick of feeling like the bad guy since James, ahem, Potter, put on this new nice front. "Please?" she added.

**---------------**

_I am going to make this work._ James thought.

James was in his room, his _new_ room, that was all his. When James got the letter that he was Head Boy, he was extremely surprised, but even more excited because he had a pretty good idea who the Head Girl was going to be. He was right.

The head's suite was amazing. He couldn't wait to jump on the couches; they look like they have never been sat on! James stood in his doorway and examined the most beautiful part of the room: Lily.

She was standing in her doorway, scanning their new living quarters, her eyes then landing on him. He flashed her, what he thought, was a dashing smiled. Her facial expression and disapproving tutting noise convinced him otherwise.

She turned around, and headed into her room.

"No, Lily wait!" James said, his smile falling. He ran over to her door.

"No, _Potter,_ I will not." Lily said. "Yes, we unfortunately have to be spending an entire year together but don't think that I will-"

"Be able to resist my charm much longer? Well I already counted on that," James cut her off, mentally kicking himself, and then flashing another grin hopefully to make up for it. It failed.

"Unbelievable," Lily said, turning back around. "No, actually, quite expected."

"Aw, come on Evans, you know you love-" James couldn't shut himself up, he was reverting back to old James, not the new James that was sure to win over Lily's heart.

James met Lily's incredible emerald eyes for a brief second before she slammed the door in his face.

James sighed, his heart saddened. _Well I did deserve that. And probably a lot worse. I'm sure the worse is to come._

"Sorry," James whispered.

James decided to go ahead and jump on the couch to lift his spirits.

After a while of that he slouched down onto the couch and got his wand out. He levitated a book off the shelf and into the air above the couch opposite him. Might as well do what he did best. He turned the book into a feather, then an hourglass, then a book again, then a lily…

"Lily!" James exclaimed, surprised that she was watching him from her doorway. The lily fell onto the couch.

He looked at her curiously as she seemed to be breathless. _Was she breathless?_

James quickly regained his focus. "I want to say sorry for before, I really am trying to change-" James started but was cut off.

"Sure," Lily said, and headed for the door. "Sure, fine,"

"Where are you going?" James asked, getting up off the couch.

"Gryffindor common room, not that it's any of your business."

_Ouch, but then again, deserved. _"Mind if I join?" James asked.

Lily didn't respond, she just kept walking. _Well I guess I'll follow her anyways._

Within seconds he was right next to her. He saw her glance quickly at him, his heart skipping a beat, as it usually did when she looked at him.

"So Evans did you have a good summer?" James asked, proving he could have civil conversation.

He heard Lily sigh. "Lovely." She replied, not in the warmest of tones, but still a response.

There were a few moments of awkward silence until James broke it. "Aren't you going to ask me how my summer was?" James asked. He couldn't help but mess up the back of his hair; she always made him so nervous.

Lily sounded a little annoyed, but she responded, "And how was your summer Potter?"

"Lovely," James said, imitating her tone perfectly, adding his own grin on at the end.

He heard Lily suppress a laugh, and readjust her expression.

_Wait, did she just smile?!_

By that time Lily had said the password and they were in the common room. She ran up the stairs; James watched her go. He himself would have run up the boys stairs, but the Marauders soon came tumbling down. Literally.

"Prongs!" Sirius yelled from underneath Remus and Peter.

"Hello again gents. And how has your evening been? You three unpacked?" James asked, throwing Sirius his snitch.

Sirius leaped up from his pile of friends and caught the golden ball.

"Oh you know, if by unpacked you mean the trunk is in the room, then yes," Sirius said, letting the snitch go and immediately trying to catch it.

"How…how was your summer Prongs?" Peter asked.

"Not bad Wormtail, and yourself?"

"G-good." Peter replied. "I was off on holiday with my cousins…"

"So I heard," James said. "That's why we didn't get to see you this summer."

"How is Lily handling this whole Head situation?" Remus asked.

"Yes, how is our little flower?" Sirius asked, leaping over the sofa.

"Not as bad as I thought…" James said. "But I am definitely not in the best of situations yet."

"You were given this chance mate, don't screw it up. Dumbledore works in strange ways. I bet you there were alternative reasons for making you head boy." Remus said, raising his eyebrows.

"Especially since you are usually the one breaking the rules, not enforcing them." Sirius said, chasing James' snitch around the common room.

A moment or so later Lily came bounding down the stairs and into the common room. She looked flustered and James knew he needed to start everything off on a new foot.

"Lily! I wanted to tell you that…"

"I'm starting the rounds Potter. Your shift starts in an hour." James' heart sunk until Lily surprisingly turned around and added, "Please?"

She sounded desperate, but not in her usual way. James' heart could barely take the excitement from her change of tone that it wanted to burst.

There was no way he was giving up on her. No way.


	2. second week

_There is no way I am giving into this. No way._

Lily sat in the head's common room and waited for the clock to strike and for her rounds to start.

It had been one week since the fateful first day of seventh year. Lily and James were unofficially on first names basis. It was strange for Lily living with James. He stopped trying to impress her as much. He kept up the same amount of pranks, but she was no longer the target of them, and he tried to limit the pranks in front of her. After even just that short amount of time Lily began to see James as an actual person, not an arrogant toe rag. Although he was still very arrogant.

The last bell rang on the clock and Lily got up off the couch and walked into the corridor. Very surprisingly and uncharacteristically, James was leaning on the wall outside their door entrance…right on time.

"Punctual as usual," James said smiling.

"Well I'll take the main hallway downstairs." Lily said. "Want to take the back one on the second floor? That seems to be popular lately."

"I've already got the prefects on that floor." James informed her.

_What? He's actually gone and done something right?_

"Oh." Was all Lily replied with as the two headed down to the first floor.

James cocked a smile to the side of his mouth. "Surprised aren't you,"

"Yes." Lily admitted, James laughed.

"Guess I'm not as terrible and irresponsible as you thought," James said.

Lily didn't answer, but she shrugged and smiled.

They passed through the corridors, caught a few couples in broom closets, and found a few house elves scurrying about.

_How does he seem to know where everyone is sneaking around?_

"Filch is coming," James informed Lily hastily. "And I'd rather not bump into him."

Lily silently agreed and the two of them scurried off to the great hall. Lily swore she saw James shove a piece of paper back into his pocket.

As the two of them hid in the great hall, they heard Filch and Mrs. Norris walk by. Of course they were doing nothing wrong, they were doing their jobs, but it was never a pleasant encounter with either of the two.

"It's amazing how light it is in here," Lily noted, there was no charm on the ceiling tonight. "It must be because of the full moon."

"Yeah I suppose-" James started but stopped mid sentence.

Lily looked at him curiously. _He looks oddly white right now. I wonder if something's wrong._ "James, are you alright?"

"I've got to go," James said, suddenly bolting for the door.

Lily stood in the great hall, stunned, and watched him run off. She wasn't even sure how it happened, but before she knew it she found herself running to follow him.

"James!" She yelled once she was outside. "What the _bloody hell_ are you doing? Stop!"

He didn't stop. They were headed towards the whomping willow tree. Lily began to get even more worried.

"We're not allowed out on grounds this late! James, stop!" Lily yelled again, stopping for breath. _How can he just keep running like that?_

James finally stopped and marched up to Lily. "Don't follow me, go back inside," he said almost angrily.

"Are you crazy? We shouldn't be out here, get back inside!" Lily shot back.

"No," James said. "Go be your rule abiding self and get _back_ in the castle."

"You are out of your mind," Lily said, getting angry. "I'm not letting you go prancing outside at night-"

"Oh yeah? And what exactly are you going to do about it Evans?" James asked harshly.

Lily was stunned. And she felt almost hurt. It was an unspoken agreement that they were on first names basis now…and there he was again calling her 'Evans.' She looked him in the eyes and said the last thing she ever expected to say, "Nothing,"

"Good. Now run along," James said.

"You are unbelievable Potter!" Lily shouted. "You are the most horrid person I know! Go have fun getting yourself mauled by the whomping willow!"

Lily turned back around and ran to the castle.

_Unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable. I actually thought he had changed. Or at least was trying. I am the biggest fool in the world. What a complete and utter toe rag!_

"Excellent practice!" James informed the Gryffindor quidditch team. "We'll beat those slimey snakes for sure!"

The whole team left the practice in an uplifted mood. "Good practice captain," one of the chasers said to James.

"Thanks mate," James replied, heading for the showers. He had his rounds with Lily tonight, or he would if she didn't send him off to some other part of the castle like she had been doing lately. James, however, had a plan to get out of that annoying situation tonight.

James walked not too leisurely towards the Gryffindor common room. He seemed to be seeing less of the marauders than usual this year, and that certainly was not going to do. Between being quidditch captain and being head boy he had a lot of partially unwelcome responsibilities. It was sure getting in the way of his keen prankster time.

"Evening lads!" James said marching into the common room.

He walked in at the exact moment to see Sirius leaping over the couch, falling onto Remus, who then hit into Peter, who was taking his shoes off, resulting in Peter's shoe flying into the fireplace.

"Evening Prongs," Sirius muffled, pressed up agains the couch.

"Hey there James," Remus said.

"My shoe!" Peter squealed.

The rest of the Marauders eyes' met with the fireplace and Peter's shoe inside it.

"No worries mate," James said, waving his wand, and within moments Peter's shoe was out of the fireplace unscathed.

"T-thanks Prongs!" Peter stuttered.

"So I am feeling completely without a good recent prank. Any ideas?" James said, plopping down onto the couch next to Remus.

"Snape seems extra slimey this year. I'm always up for a new prank Snively wise." Sirius said, resituating himself.

James shrugged. "Any other ideas?" he asked. "I'm trying to lay off him because…"

"Because of your lady flower, we know," Sirius responded.

"Anyone up for slicking the main stairway? People slipping and sliding everywhere?" James quickly suggested.

The other three pondered.

"Not the most original idea…" Sirius started. "But effective none the less!"

Remus sighed, meeting the grins of his friends. "Just tell me the spell I need to look up,"

"There we are Moony!" Sirius cheered.

"Oh and Padfoot…" James said, turning to his best friend. "I had the map with me on my rounds and made special care to lead everyone away from the third floor broom closet. Anything you'd like to share?" he asked, his grin meeting his eyes.

Peter and Remus stared at their friend, not entirely, or at all, in shock, but in curiosity.

"Only that my reputation stands strong meaning of course that I am entirely irresistible." Sirius responded.

"Jenny?" Remus asked.

Sirius' mischievous grin took over his face and he replied, "Becca,"

James' eyes widened. "You did not,"

Sirius readjusted himself and put his arms behind his head. "I did,"

"Did w-what exactly?" Peter stammered.

"Oy! Get your mind out of the gutters Wormtail! I was completely chivalrous in all my actions." Sirius said.

"If that's not a lie I don't know what is," Remus said, his eyes looking oddly tired.

"Becca is one of Lily's best mates…" James started.

"Well then we'll have to go on a double date sometime," Sirius said winking.

James ignored him. "I have to go talk to the prefects before I start my rounds. But I don't have rounds for the rest of the week so we'll catch up on the stair slicking plans afterwards."

"And to think. Poor Prongsy is going to ditch us for a flower. What is the world coming to?"

"You know I have to do my rounds, it's part of being Head Boy." James said.

"And if I know you, which I think I do," Sirius said. "You are off to arrange with the prefects a way to get you and Lils alone on your rounds tonight, am I right?"

"You are the fools who told me to try a new strategy. And I have. And it's working. So now I am going to go continue with the plan! Night gents!" James said, leaving the Gryffindor common room.

Remus seemed to get a look of panic on his face and started, "Don't forget about-" but the Fat Lady portrait swung close behind him. He was probably warning him about not reverting back to old habits. _Now off to the prefects, and then off to Lily._

James walked back to the Head's chambers with a look of satisfaction on his face. _Those prefects were easy to convince._ He waited outside the door of, dare he say, _their_ room, and waited for Lily. She would probably faint that he was actually there on time.

She walked out of the door as he heard the last bell chime. "Punctual as usual," he said smiling.

Lily seemed to try to ignore him. "Well I'll take the main hallway downstairs." She said. _Just as expected._ "Want to take the back one on the second floor? That seems to be popular lately."

James smiled inwardly at his own cleverness. "I've already got the prefects on that floor." He informed her, satisfied at the look on her face.

"Oh." Was all Lily replied, James had hoped for a little more, but he wouldn't set his expectations too high yet. They both then headed down to the first floor.

James smiled, not being able to help himself. "Surprised aren't you,"

"Yes." Lily said. James laughed; he didn't expect her to admit that.

"Guess I'm not as terrible and irresponsible as you thought," he said.

Lily didn't answer, but she shrugged and smiled.

_Merlin, I love it when she smiles._

They passed through the corridors, caught a few couples in broom closets, _thanks to our genius of a map,_ and found a few house elves scurrying about.

James carefully sneaked a peak at the Marauders Map again and saw an unpleasant fellow heading their way.

"Filch is coming," he informed Lily hastily. "And I'd rather not bump into him."

Lily seemed to silently agreed and the two of them scurried off to the great hall. As the two of them hid in the great hall, they heard Filch and Mrs. Norris walk by.

_This is weird. Even though I'm _supposed_ to be out at this time I'm still hiding from Filch. I guess some things never change._

James turned to Lily and saw that she was observing the uncharmed ceiling of the great hall. "It's amazing how light it is in here," she said, "It must be because of the full moon."

"Yeah I suppose-" James started but stopped himself in sheer panic. _Remus._

"James, are you alright?" Lily asked.

He barely heard her speak. "I've got to go," he said, bolting for the door.

_I am officially the worst person in the world. How could I have forgotten? I should have not only remembered but noticed how tired Remus was looking! And he even tried to tell me…_

"James!" He heard Lily call after him. "What the _bloody hell_ are you doing? Stop!"

He didn't stop. There was no way he was stopping. Remus was his best friend and he would do anything to help and try to make this up to him. He was almost at the whomping willow tree. _How do I transform without her seeing?_

"We're not allowed out on grounds this late! James, stop!" Lily yelled again. James thought he heard her stop running.

He needed her gone. So he finally stopped running, turned around, and marched up to Lily. "Don't follow me, go back inside," he said quite forcefully

"Are you crazy? We shouldn't be out here, get back inside!" Lily shot back.

_Why is she so stubborn? Why can't she just trust me?_

"No," James said. "Go be your rule abiding self and get _back_ in the castle."

_Lily doesn't matter right now. She needs to leave and I need to help Remus._

"You are out of your mind," Lily said, sounding angry. "I'm not letting you go prancing outside at night-"

"Oh yeah? And what exactly are you going to do about it Evans?" James shot back harshly. _There was no way he was risking Remus' safety here. Or Lily's for that matter._

Lily looked hurt. And for a moment James' heart panged. _I shouldn't have called her Evans._

Lily looked him in the eyes and said the last thing James expected her to say, "Nothing,"

"Good. Now run along," James said quickly.

"You are unbelievable Potter!" Lily shouted. "You are the most horrid person I know! Go have fun getting yourself mauled by the whomping willow!"

James barely saw her run away as he turned and headed straight for the whomping willow.


	3. third week

"Come _on_ Lily," Alice begged. "Please come to the quidditch game,"

At this point Becca was practically pulling Lily out the door.

"Well maybe if this one," Lily said to Alice, referring to Becca, "would let me go then I might consider it on my own free will!"

Lily was dragged out onto the quidditch fields until she promised she wouldn't run back to the castle and was then able to walk on her own.

"So what's this I hear about you and Black then?" Alice asked, sparking both Becca and Lily's attention.

"About who and Black?" Lily asked curiously.

"About _this one_," Alice said, "And her rumors of dark corners with our Mr. Sirius Black."

"Do you believe all the gossip you hear in the halls?" Becca scoffed.

"No," Alice replied. "Just what I hear about you…because it's usually true."

The three of them laughed, Becca hoping the subject had changed, but Alice cut in again.

"So…care to share with us then?"

"I do not." Becca said with a smile.

"Come on now," Lily said. "Don't keep us in the dark. Where you have so clearly been,"

Becca playfully shoved Lily, not able to hid the grin on her face. "It's just an infatuation, leave it at that."

"We most certainly will not!" Alice said.

By this point they were almost at their spot in the stands. Lily surveyed the area and saw that not too far away, but not directly near them, was Sirius black himself with the rest of James' motley crew: Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

Lily was fond of Remus but didn't care much for the rest of the Marauders.

"Well there's your _infatuation_ now," Lily said, inconspicuously pointing.

Becca turned her head, her raven hair whipping around with her. She spotted Sirius who gave a coy grin. Becca simply batted her eyelashes and turned back around.

Becca sighed, turning to her friends. "I will admit…he is a very good infatuation."

"I am going to pretend not to know what that means." Alice said.

"Oh please," Becca said. "Get your minds out of the gutters…well, not too far out."

The girls giggled and found their seats. The game went on for a while and Lily had a hard time getting into it. She liked quidditch but it took a lot for her to get deeply involved in any kind of sport. She let her mind wander until it was suddenly disrupted and snapped back into reality.

James crashed into the stands right in front of Lily. She sat there for a moment, stunned, and watched as James tried to pick himself up. Before she knew it she was rushing over to him.

"James! James are you alright?" Lily asked frantically.

"Ouch." Was all James replied.

"_**Oh that looks like it hurt! Potter has crashed into the Gryffindor stands while Slytherin's seeker is catching up with the snitch…**__"_

Lily listened to the voice on the loudspeaker, while checking to see if James was alright. A whole crowd had formed around them but for some reason they seemed to fade into the background.

"Those slimy gits…" James said, trying to get up but cringing a little in pain.

Lily furrowed her brow and grabbed both of James' hands.

"On your feet Potter!" She said, feeling extremely out of her own character.

James let Lily pull him up, helping a little himself, and he stared curiously into her eyes.

_He's been talking about this bloody game for ages. He deserves the chance to at least try to win it…_

"You've been talking about this bloody game for ages," Lily said to him. "Now go out and win it." She pulled her hands away from his; her face remained stern.

James surprised her by grinning widely, similar to the smile he gave her on the first day of seventh year, but for some reason this time she didn't feel remotely disgusted.

He messed up the back of his hair and was on his broomstick within seconds. "Thanks Evans," He said about to zoom off but quickly stopped himself. "Uh, I mean Lily,"

James flew back off into the game and Gryffindor was immediately winning again. The crowd cheered and Lily stood there dumbfounded.

_What the bloody hell has gotten into me? When in the world did I stop hating James Potter?_

"Well it's about time," Becca said to Lily.

Lily looked at her confused, wondering for a moment if Becca had read her thoughts.

"What?" Lily asked.

"It's about time you started to like Potter," Becca clarified. "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"And by like," Alice popped in, "She means as friends, of course, right Becca? Come on Lily let's sit back down."

"Well maybe that's what you meant…" Becca said.

The three girls sat back down and the commotion was done with. Lily watched the game intently. For the first time Lily could remember she paid close attention to the game, namely on her teams star seeker.

James was a very skilled player and it was no wonder why Gryffindor had won so many times. For the first time in a long time Lily was at the edge of her seat watching and waiting to see how the game would end. She joined in with her friend's excitement and nearly jumped in the air when she saw James take a dive for the snitch, coming up triumphantly with golden ball in hand.

The crowds went wild and Lily loved being a part of it. All of the Gryffindors were rushing down to the field, including Alice and Becca. Lily was feeling inspired today and simply asked herself:_ Why not?_

Lily had fallen a little behind her friends and soon bumped into Remus. Sirius pushed in front of them, presumably to find Becca.

"Hello there Lily! Enjoy the game?" Remus asked.

_Why is Remus friends with the rest of the Marauders? He is nice and normal, unlike the rest of them…_

"I did actually," Lily said smiling. "How about yourself?"

"Excellent game," Remus said. "Except Prongs, I mean James, had a nasty spill."

"Oh, oh yes," Lily said.

"Was he alright? I noticed you over by, um, by where he crashed." Remus asked.

"He seemed alright," Lily said, trying not to show disgust, as she was accustomed to.

"Good," Remus said, trying to render their now awkward conversation. "Well he got us the win after all! He must be feeling better…speaking of which, there he is now."

Lily saw James approaching from a ways in front of her and she was hoping to be able to dodge out of his vision, but it seemed impossible, she was sure James had already spotted them

Remus waved at his friend and Lily wished that at that moment she were anywhere but there.

James came up to her, took her hand, and placed a kiss on it. "That win was thanks to you Miss Evans." He said; Lily was utterly befuddled. "Come on Moony!"

"See you later Lily," Remus said.

Lily stood there, looking down at her hand, and Alice and Becca made their way over to her.

"What the heck was that all about?" Becca asked.

"I don't know," Lily said. "I don't know…"

The three girls sat in the Gryffindor common room in a corner by the fireplace. The rest of the room was busy in celebratory commotion.

"So how is everything going with Frank?" Lily asked Alice.

Alice smiled shyly. "Everything's going great."

Becca grinned, "Who ever knew Longbottom would be able to capture this one's heart,"

Alice blushed slightly and changed the subject. "So what was with you and James today?"

Lily's smile stopped short. "What do you mean?"

"You definitely had a moment today." Alice explained.

"We did not." Lily denied.

"More than one if I recall." Becca said.

The two girls stared at Lily.

"And what sort of response are you looking for?" She asked bluntly.

"Oh come _on_ Lily," Alice said, "James is really trying; you can even admit that,"

"Fine," Lily said. "I'll admit that his head has slightly deflated, but only slightly."

"And anyone with eyes and a brain could have seen the sparks flying today," Becca said.

"Now _that_ I will not admit to, no way." Lily said.

There was a fire lit behind Becca's eyes, and Alice knew she had to calm her down. "Well Becca, we both know that Lily will come around, so let's just wait for her to realize that for herself."

Becca gave in. "Sure, whatever." She said standing up. "Well I'll see you two later,"

"And where are you going?" Lily asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Nowhere." Becca replied.

"Give us a status report on the broom closet's interior when you're done," Alice said.

A pillow was respectively chucked at her.

Lily walked down the hallway towards her room contemplating the day's earlier events.

_I hate to admit it but Potter has changed. He seems to be trying harder every day, but at the same time not trying at all. He doesn't try to catch my attention as much anymore but that _is_ catching my attention. Maybe he really is…_

Lily's thoughts stopped short when she walked into the next hallway to see Severus Snape flying across the corridor, his pants flying off him on the way.

In the opposite direction of which Snape was flying was the one person she knew it was but hoped it wasn't: James Potter.

"Unbelievable."

_I take back every good thought I had of Potter today._

"Lily…"

"_Un_believable." Lily scoffed, turning on her heels, and heading back to the heads common room. She knew James could follow her but she didn't know where else to go. She hastily opened the door and hurried towards her room.

James burst into the room, Lily only wished she had been in her room and locked the door before he arrived.

"Lily please, I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't…"

"Oh do enlighten me!" Lily said. "What has Severus done that has so deeply _wounded_ you that you had to go and humiliate him in font of everyone…again!"

"He…"

"What James, what?" Lily practically yelled.

"He called you a _mudblood_." James said. Lily could tell he wanted to shout at her but was holding himself back.

Lily's breath caught in her throat but she slowly let it out when she saw James looking at her concernedly; she couldn't let him know how much it hurt her to hear that.

"I couldn't just let him get away with that!" James said. "He has no right to say that to anyone, let alone you…"

"You aren't the one who should be standing up for me at others expense." Lily said. "I don't need you protecting me."

"You're wrong about that." James said. And for the first time that Lily remembered _he_ walked away from _her_.

**-------------------**

James looked out on the quidditch field and turned back around to face his team.

"Alright team, those slimey snakes are going to get exactly what they deserve!"

There were cheers coming from his teammates.

"Now let's get out there and show them the meaning of victory!"

They heard the announcement come on.

"_**...versus Gryffindor!"**_

The team burst out on their broomsticks erupting cheering from the stands.

The game was heated, both teams constantly scoring points. James had his sights set on one thing: the snitch.

He was getting closer and closer. The golden orb was almost within his grasp and as he reached for it some force hit him and hit him hard.

Slytherin's seeker came up on his left and careened into him, pushing him twirling towards the stands. With what James would consider a hard crash, he collided with the stands. Thank goodness it was his own team's section or he might have been kicked off the stands completely.

He wasn't in too much pain, but it was pain enough. He just had to focus on getting upright again. _There is no way that bloody snake is going to get the snitch. Come on James, get up, just get up._

James hadn't realized he crashed into the stands right in front of Lily.

"James! James are you alright?" He heard Lily ask him. She was for some reason rushing over to help him.

"Ouch." Was all James could muster as a reply.

"_**Oh that looks like it hurt! Potter has crashed into the Gryffindor stands while Slytherin's seeker is catching up with the snitch…**__"_

James listened to the loudspeaker and cringed. He was almost too disoriented to notice Lily checking to see if he was alright. A whole crowd had formed around them but in his eyes they seemed to fade into the background.

"Those slimy gits…" he said, trying to get up, unable to help from cringing a little in pain.

Without warning Lily grabbed both of his hands. _What the bloody hell is she doing…_

"On your feet Potter!" She said. James was surprised at how out of character she sounded; he wasn't sure what to make of it.

James let Lily pull him up, helping a little himself, and he stared curiously into her eyes.

_Why is she helping me? She can't seriously care, can she? Not unless miracles actually do happen…_

"You've been talking about this bloody game for ages," She said to him. "Now go out and win it." James was reluctant when she pulled her hands away from his; he also noticed that her face hadn't changed an inch.

It was like a wave of realization and James couldn't help but grinning widely. _She wanted to help me. She really wanted to make sure I was alright._

James grabbed his broomstick, messed up the back of his hair, and was on his broom within seconds. "Thanks Evans," He said. He was about to zoom off when something didn't feel right. He stopped and turned around, "Uh, I mean Lily,"

James flew back off to the game with a new sense of determination. He was going to win this game. And this time it wasn't to impress Lily…it was to thank her.

It wasn't too much later into the game that James caught back up with the snitch and made more than just a leap of fate.

On the ground with golden snitch in hand his whole team surrounded him in fervent cheers. He was congratulated over and over again, and although the cheers didn't die down, he was able to make his was out of the crowd.

His friends always came down onto the field to meet him: win or loss.

He spotted Remus across the field waving to him, and to James' pleasant surprise Lily was walking with him.

Without thinking and completely on impulse James rushed over to them, walked up to Lily, took her hand, and placed a kiss on it. "That win was thanks to you Miss Evans." He said; he could tell that Lily was baffled. "Come on Moony!"

"See you later Lily," Remus said. When they were far enough away from Lily Remus turned to James. "What was _that_ for?"

"Couldn't help myself," he replied.

"That wasn't exactly laying low like you were _trying_ to." Remus said.

"She likes me Moony, I can tell." James said. "I _knew_ it. I knew it."

"You just won a game…don't let it get to your head," Remus advised.

_Ah Moony. He's always trying to give me advice, he's so sensible, but he doesn't know the feeling you get when you look into someone's eyes and just _know.

James and Remus saw Sirius running over towards them.

"I am the love master," he said, slightly out of breath. "She's meeting me again…tonight…broom closet…that's what I'm talking about mates," Sirius ended with a wink.

"Congrats mate," James said, amused.

"Thanks Prongs," Sirius said. "Oh, and congrats to you! Nasty spill before, but Lils seemed to have gotten you back on your feet," Sirius said with another wink. "And excellent dive at the end. Oh bugger! I forgot the fireworks!" Sirius turned around. "Come on Pete, hurry up!"

Peter came running up next to them, huffing and puffing, stopping to catch his breath. "Just…one…minute…"

"No minutes Wormy, we've got to get those fireworks set up to celebrate our _victory!_" Sirius cheered. "You two come along in a few to set them off with us. I know you have your victory rounds Prongs."

Peter messed up the fireworks. But they did manage to get one to go off.

After many congratulations and celebrations James decided to finally take a break and head back to the heads room. On his way he couldn't help but think about Lily. He tried not to because he had to focus on not focusing on her…but that task was nearly fruitless. _I wonder if she is going to act weird when she sees me…_

James was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts when he bumped into someone and his smile slowly faded

"Pardon me for ruining your happy mood. What, are you fantasizing about your never will be mudblood girlfriend?"

James' look turned lethal and before he could stop himself he whipped out his wand and Snape was flying across the corridor.

James didn't mean for it to happen, but wasn't necessarily upset at the fact, as Snape was flying down the corridor his trousers were somehow separated from him.

"That's what you get Snively." James seethed.

"Unbelievable."

_Oh god._ James thought, turning around. _Lily._

"Lily…"

"_Un_believable." Lily scoffed, turning on her heels, and heading back to the heads common room, thankfully, the one place James could actually follow.

James burst into the room, wanting to catch Lily before she locked the door to her room.

"Lily please, I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't…"

"Oh do enlighten me!" Lily said. "What has Severus done that has so deeply _wounded_ you that you had to go and humiliate him in font of everyone…again!"

"He…"

"What James, what?" Lily practically yelled.

"He called you a _mudblood_." James said wanting to shout at her. He didn't want to upset her but he had to explain himself.

He saw Lily's face go stark. Her breath seemed to be stuck in her throat and all James wanted to do was take back what he said and did but he knew he couldn't.

"I couldn't just let him get away with that!" James tried to explain. "He has no right to say that to anyone, let alone you…"

"You aren't the one who should be standing up for me at others expense." Lily said. "I don't need you protecting me."

That was James' personal sting to the heart.

"You're wrong about that." James said. And for the first time in his memory _he_ walked away from _her_.

----

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it! I'll have the next chapter up asap!


	4. fourth week

"Absolutely not."

"You've come this far, don't chicken out."

"James, there is no way."

"Lily. Get on the broomstick."

"You've got to be out of your mind if you think I'm getting on that thing."

…_I can't believe I am sitting on a broomstick with James bloody Potter._

"I've got it Lily, don't worry," James assured her. He reached his arms around her and grabbed onto the front of the broomstick. "But you have to promise me you'll open your eyes."

"I'm not promising anything," Lily said curtly. "You got me on the broomstick, don't push your luck,"

James laughed and Lily felt his chest rise and fall on her back. "Okay here we go…"

Lily felt her feet slowly leave the ground. She quietly squealed.

James laughed again. "Don't worry Lily," James repeated. "You're safe, I'm not going to let you fall,"

"Tell me that when we're back on the ground," Lily said, eyes still firmly shut.

James sighed. "How are you going to know if you're more than an inch off the ground if you don't open your eyes?"

_Damnit. Come on Lily, you are braver than this. And he promised that he wouldn't let you fall…_

Lily slowly opened her eyes, becoming more rigid by the second.

"Oh my…oh my…" Lily said in a small voice, pushing herself back up against James' front in fear. They were _definitely_ more than an inch off the ground.

"Are you ready?" James asked.

"No," Lily answered.

James then took the liberty of not only flying up but also forward.

Lily gripped hard around the broomstick.

"How the bloody hell do you do this every day?" Lily muttered.

"Just relax," James said. "If you are confident you won't fall they you'll actually enjoy it,"

And James was right. Lily took a deep breath and relaxed herself. James flew them over the quidditch field and Lily was amazed to see things from this point of view: she was usually just a bystander in the crowd.

"If you do a bloody loop I swear I will risk expulsion and curse you into the next century," Lily said.

"You're enjoying it that much then?" James asked sarcastically.

Lily took a deep breath. "It actually is quite amazing," she said.

"I hoped you'd like it," James said not able to control himself from adding, "it makes it great for dropping water balloons. They never see it coming,"

Lily surprised not just James but herself by laughing. "I'd appreciate if I was not a victim of your next attack,"

"I'll consider it," James said.

_And now I am on a broom_ joking_ with James Potter…_

"Have you ever fallen?" Lily quickly asked.

"I recall you seeing me crash into the stands last week," James said

"Yes, but that wasn't your fault…and that was crashing not falling," Lily said.

"I think I fell third year," James said. "And I remember you were there for that one too,"

Lily suddenly remembered. He had been bothering her so much that morning. Telling her he saved her a special seat so she could watch him play. He arranged it so she _had_ to sit there and then put a sticking spell on her seat so she had to stay for the whole game.

"Ah yes," Lily said. "I didn't have much of a choice did I?"

"Well you must have seen my fall then," James retorted.

Lily searched her memories of the rest of that day. "Was it because of the quaffle?" she asked.

"Yeah," James said. "Hit me square in the chest and knocked me straight off my broom." Lily gripped the broom tighter. "Don't worry, there won't be any quaffles flying by now,"

"Good thing Dumbledore was there to stop your fall," Lily said.

"I'm surprised you remembered," James said coyly.

"Well it's hard to forget something when you are stuck to a seat and forced to watch it," Lily shot back.

"Well how else would I have gotten you to go?" James asked amusedly.

"You could have tried not being an arrogant prick the two years prior," Lily said.

"I'm trying that out now," James said. "So far it seems to be working,"

Lily had no response.

"Whoa there missy," Becca said. "James Potter, _James Potter_, got you to fly on his broomstick with him?"

"Why is it that when you say that it seems to have such an obscene undertone?" Lily asked.

"Answer the question!" Alice jumped in.

"Enough with the interrogation! Yes, I am the one who _told_ you I did so you can stop asking again and again!"

"Way to go Potter," Becca said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily demanded.

"Don't pretend you aren't setting your sights on our star seeker and infamous James Potter who has had his sights set on you for _years_. The whole school knows it too!"

"The whole school knows that Alice is going out with Frank!" Lily said, causing Alice to blush. "So what is the big deal with me being civil with James?"

"Because it seems to be a little more than civil…" Alice said.

"James? James! You have completely done away with calling him Potter! And you flew on his broomstick with him. Literally and possibly figuratively." Becca said.

"Remind me, why am I friends with you?" Lily said.

Alice once again had to step in on Lily's behalf. "Come on Becca. Like I said before, just give her time,"

"Time?" Lily asked. "Time for what? Would you rather me go on loathing him? It sure makes Head duties a lot easier when I don't despise the person I am working with! And thankfully he has put an effort forth as well. Not being a jerk or…"

"Or swooning over you every moment?" Becca cut in.

"Exactly!" Lily said surprising her friends. "He's finally stopped all of that! So start being happy I am not ripping my hair out and stop reading into it!"

"Sorry Lil," Becca said. "You know I've always been a fan of Potter even though you've always hated him. And even though you might have convinced yourself otherwise, don't for a minute think he still isn't head over heels for you,"

Lily walked back down the hall towards her room and thought of every thing James had ever done that made her hate him. All of the pranks that more than crossed the borders of funny and into mean. All the times he tried to entice her that ended up horribly; pushing her in the lake, displaying all of her undergarments for the whole school to see, hanging "Potter love Evans" banners around the halls on Valentine's Day, the countless pranks he played on Severus, and ultimately the way he smiled at all of those things like he owned the world.

He messed up her potions and completed his with ease, he managed to get everyone on his side with everything, he was given everything and it was never enough.

By the time Lily reached the door she was inwardly fuming. _How do I know that this isn't just a façade? Is the old Potter going to pop out as soon as I accept the new Potter? He is impossible and yet everyone is unable to resist his charm._

Lily then noticed something she must have passed a thousand of times since the first day of school: the lily James had transfigured. It looked perfect, just like the first time she saw it. Lily wondered why it had lasted all that time and at that moment everything that had been bottled up inside her began to pour out. When James walked out of his room her wavering composure snapped.

She picked up the lily off the couch and threw it angrily on the ground. It miraculously remained completely unharmed, like some sort of magic had preserved it.

Lily's heart was beating rapidly out of rage, or so she thought. Her heartbeat then soared off the charts when James stared her in the eyes, bent down to pick up the lily, gently brushed her hair behind her ear, and placed the lily in her hair.

The anger she felt only moments earlier diminished completely and began to spark into something Lily never imagined possible.

**-----------------------**

"Absolutely not."

"You've come this far, don't chicken out."

"James, there is no way."

"Lily. Get on the broomstick."

"You've got to be out of your mind if you think I'm getting on that thing."

…_I can't believe I actually got her to sit on my broomstick with me. Why does that sound slightly crude when I say it that way?_

"I've got it Lily, don't worry," James assured her. He reached his arms around her and grabbed onto the front of the broomstick. "But you have to promise me you'll open your eyes."

"I'm not promising anything," Lily said curtly. "You got me on the broomstick, don't push your luck,"

_I guess I really shouldn't push my luck. This is actually really amazing of her to go through with this. Kind of funny how much she is freaking out about it._

James chuckled and said, "Okay here we go…"

He lifted her slowly but knew he wanted her to experience everything, even the height.

He laughed again. "Don't worry Lily," James repeated. "You're safe, I'm not going to let you fall,"

"Tell me that when we're back on the ground," Lily said, eyes still firmly shut.

James sighed. "How are you going to know if you're more than an inch off the ground if you don't open your eyes?"

_Come on Lily, just open your eyes._

He couldn't see if her eyes open, but by her tightened grip on the broom he could tell.

"Oh my…oh my…" Lily said in a small voice. He could feel her pushing herself back against him.

"Are you ready?" James asked.

"No," Lily answered.

_Well that's a shocker. What's the harm, right?_

He soared higher and forward so Lily could feel the wind blow against her skin; he felt her grip the broomstick; _hard_.

"How the bloody hell do you do this every day?" Lily muttered.

"Just relax," James said. "If you are confident you won't fall they you'll actually enjoy it,"

He was amazed that she actually seemed to relax. _Maybe if I do a loop she will…_

"If you do a bloody loop I swear I will risk expulsion and curse you into the next century," Lily said.

"You're enjoying it that much then?" James asked sarcastically, wondering if she could read his mind.

Lily took a deep breath. "It actually is quite amazing," she said.

_I knew it. I _knew_ it._

"I hoped you'd like it," James said not able to control himself from adding, "it makes it great for dropping water balloons. They never see it coming,"

_Why did I say that? Why can't I ever censor myself…wait-is she laughing?_

"I'd appreciate if I was not a victim of your next attack," Lily said

"I'll consider it," James replied, astounded.

_That was most certainly a laugh._

"Have you ever fallen?" Lily quickly asked.

"I recall you seeing me crash into the stands last week," James said

"Yes, but that wasn't your fault…and that was crashing not falling," Lily said.

"I think I fell third year," James said. "And I remember you were there for that one too," _When I put that spell on your seat…_

"Ah yes," Lily said. "I didn't have much of a choice did I?"

James inwardly cringed at his younger, if possible, even more immature self.

"Well you must have seen my fall then," James retorted.

"Was it because of the quaffle?" she asked.

"Yeah," James said, trying not to remember in too much detail. "Hit me square in the chest and knocked me straight off my broom." He felt Lily grip the broom tighter. "Don't worry, there won't be any quaffles flying by now,"

"Good thing Dumbledore was there to stop your fall," Lily said.

"I'm surprised you remembered," James said coyly.

"Well it's hard to forget something when you are stuck to a seat and forced to watch it," Lily shot back.

_That actually was quite a brilliant spell._

"Well how else would I have gotten you to go?" James asked amusedly.

"You could have tried not being an arrogant prick the two years prior," Lily said.

"I'm trying that out now," James said. "So far it seems to be working," _I hope._

James, amazed by his maturity, decided to skip out on a prank in order to finish his potions homework. He knew he should have worked on it when Lily had offered her assistance but he was just too excited to sneak off to Hogsmeade with The Marauders that night so he put it off yet again.

It was a lovely day outside and James wished he could go back in time to the morning and be flying on his broom with Lily again. He heard a few shouts from underneath his window so he peered out and had a look.

There were a few Slytherins running scared and covered in some sort of goo. James then heard the familiar laugh of his best mate.

"Good one Padfoot!" James yelled down to him. Remus and Peter then came into his view. "Nice job mates,"

"How's the potions homework going?" Remus yelled up.

"It's going," James said. "Hopefully almost finished."

"How was time with your lady love this morning?" Sirius yelled up.

James then, in remembering their conversation that morning, disappeared from the window.

"Aw come on Prongs, I was only joking-hey!" Sirius yelled.

"We discussed the art of water balloon dropping," James said looking back down at his now soaked friend. Remus and Peter were in stitches laughing.

James finished his potions homework in record speed and happily put it away. He would go find his friends and find some way to add some havoc into everyone's life today. He then heard someone, that someone assumingly being Lily, walk into the common room attached to his. He leapt from his desk and opened his door.

When James walked out of his room he smiled at Lily and then became slightly nervous because the look on her face was close to that of someone who had just completely snapped.

He was completely baffled and only assumed she was mad at him but couldn't imagine why. He saw her pick up the lily off the couch, the one he had left there since the first week of school, and watched her throw it angrily onto the ground. James was amazed by his own magic; when it forcefully hit the ground it miraculously remained completely unharmed.

James could practically hear her heart beat soaring from across the room. He stared in her eyes and by some impulse unbeknownst to him, bent down to pick up the lily. He then gently brushed her hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger, and placed the lily in her hair.

The anger on her face diminished completely and began to spark into something different. James couldn't recall ever seeing that look on her face before and he dared to hope it was the look he had been dreaming of for seven years.


	5. fifth week

"Shh!" Lily whispered trying to suppress her own laughter. "Someone is going to hear you!"

James laughed and whispered back, "Who? All the people in the corridor?"

The corridor was undeniably empty.

"That still doesn't mean we can go shouting through the halls!" Lily protested. "We are supposed to be getting _other_ people in trouble for doing that!"

"And what is the point of having special privileges unless we abuse them?" James retorted.

Lily for some reason decided not to fight back.

_I wonder which secret room he is going to show me this time…_

"And for tonight's entertainment," James said. "A magic trick."

_What? _"Because we never see any of those at Hogwarts…" Lily said curiously.

"Tonight, Miss Evans, I am going to run through a brick wall." James explained.

Lily eyed him curiously. "Pardon?"

"Feast your eyes upon this amazing stunt," James said, backing up, and running straight towards the wall next to Lily.

He went right through.

"James!" Lily screeched. _How did he do that? Where did he go? Was it a spell or…_ "Where are you? Are you just using your invisibility cloak? Because I know you have-ah!"

James emerged from the wall right next to where Lily was standing. "How do you know about my invisibility cloak?"

"Merlin, James! You nearly gave me a heart attack! Where did you come from? How did you…?"

_Sometimes James Potter is just too much for me. I really don't know if my heart can take it anymore…for more than one reason maybe? Shut up, shut up._

"Come on I'll show you," James said taking her hands in his and walking backwards into the wall, pulling her towards him.

For a moment Lily felt like the air was being sucked out of her lungs. But as soon as the feeling came it was gone and Lily was now in a completely new corridor.

"I'm still a little confused," Lily said, momentarily disoriented. "How did that happen?"

"Instead of a secret room," James explained. "I decided to show you a secret passage way,"

"How the bloody hell did you find out that if you ran head first at that wall it would bring you here?" Lily asked.

James tapped the side of his forehead. "That is for me to know and for you to wonder,"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him but smiled. She noticed him ruffling the back of his hair. Something he always did. It used to annoy her to no end but now she didn't seem to mind a bit. In fact, she noticed that recently the more nervous he got the more he would mess up his hair.

_What was he nervous about?_

James then stopped his grin and looked intensely at Lily. "Seriously though, how do you know about my invisibility cloak?"

Lily looked at him with a smug smile on her face. "That is for me to know," she said tapping the side of her forehead. "And for you to wonder."

_When the bloody hell did _I_ become the cocky one?_

"I'm keeping an eye on you Evans," James said.

"Like you haven't already for the past six years Potter," Lily replied.

"Touché," James replied.

"So are we ignoring our duties or shall we go check out a few broom closets?" Lily asked.

"There's no one in that broom closet," was James' response.

"Oh really?" Lily asked. "And how do you know?"

James pointed again to his forehead. Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"If you don't believe me go ahead and check for yourself."

Lily did just that. She turned on her heels and headed for the closet door. She turned the doorknob and pulled the door open to find, as James anticipated, an empty closet.

She took a step inside just to make sure and stood there with an unsatisfied "Hmph!"

"What did I tell you?" James asked.

Lily spun back around, not having realized how close he was behind her.

"Well, um, I guess you're right," she sputtered.

She couldn't quite make out all of his features in the darkness but she knew he was much to close for comfort in that dark space. They stood there fore a minute and Lily started to become intoxicated by his smell so she pushed past him and out of the closet.

"Let's check another one?" she asked shyly.

"Sure," James answered in the same tone, closing the closet door.

They were about to check in the next hallway when they heard footsteps getting closer and closer.

Lily did not expect to see Sirius, Remus, and Peter running down the hallway: Sirius in his boxers holding a towel over his head, Remus chasing after him and the towel, and Peter lagging behind carrying what seemed to be Sirius' clothes. But when Lily thought about it, it actually wasn't that unexpected.

"Padfoot! Really! We can't be out here!" Remus yelled. "Oy! Prongs! I'm so sorry mate, I'll get him back as soon as I can!"

"Wait up!" Peter huffed chasing after them.

Lily turned her head towards James.

"I would send them to detention but my loyalties, I'm afraid, lie with them over anything else." James said. "You've got to be the one to do it,"

Lily sighed. "I think I might let them slide on this one," she said. "At least until Sirius gets some pants on."

The next day Lily was walking back from her class and on her way to meet Alice. She looked out the window she was passing and realized how nice of a day it was outside. It was starting to get a bit cooler out but everything looked crisp and alive.

When she found Alice she also found Frank. Lily quickly turned around and decided to give them their privacy. When she turned around she saw Sirius black swiftly pulling someone into the broom closet and closing the door behind him. She soon realized that that someone was Becca.

_What is it with everyone today?_

Lily sighed and decided to go outside and be part of this beautiful day. A lot of people seemed to have the same idea. Lily walked along the lake and admired everything about Hogwarts, sad that it was her last year there.

She passed by a patch of flowers and saw that there were a few lilies spread throughout, seemingly the last bloom for a while. She picked one and placed it in her hair.

"Hello there Lily,"

Lily turned around and saw Remus with a smile on his face; he was enjoying the outdoors as well.

"Hello Remus," Lily smiled. "It's lovely out today isn't it?"

Remus nodded. "It sure is," he said. "Listen Lily…I just wanted to apologize for yesterday…"

Lily laughed. "Really, it's fine-"

"It's just that Sirius refused to get into his clothes after he showered and thought streaking through the castle would be a good idea. We thankfully managed to get _something_ on him before we-"

"Remus," Lily said. "Really. It's fine. I promise." She said laughing. "It was quite amusing to watch actually."

"I can imagine so…" Remus said.

"And normally I would get you lot in trouble but I just couldn't bring myself to do it," Lily said smiling.

Remus grinned back. "Well thank you for that," he said. "Oh! I have been meaning to ask you, have you finished the potions homework?"

_How could I have forgotten?!_ "No, I haven't!" Lily exclaimed. "I better go do that right now!"

"Oh alright," Remus said. "Well if you would like to go over it later just let me know,"

"Thank you I will," Lily said, saying goodbye and heading back inside.

_James really does have nice friends. I'm sure even Sirius _must_ have some good qualities. And I suppose Peter must as well…_

Lily walked back to her room and was just passing through the common room when she saw James come out of his room.

She smiled and said, "I completely forgot about my potions homework! I am going to work on it for a while but if you'd like I'll let you know when I am going to the great hall for dinner…"

_Why is he looking at me like that?_

"James?" she asked, this time it looked like _he_ had just snapped.

"Damnit Lily!" James said walking up to her. "I can't take this anymore!"

Before Lily was able to process anything his lips were on hers. She sighed and let herself become intoxicated by the kiss that had been more than six years in the making. Every regret she ever had was swept away in the heat of the kiss and Lily felt like she was floating and falling all at the same time.

When James pulled away Lily looked up into his face seeing his eyes half closed and clouded with desire. She imagined hers looked the same way.

Lily simply answered him by saying, "I can't take it either," and reaching her arms around his neck, pulling his lips back down onto hers.

And with that, undeniable, utterly guilt free, and total surrender.

**---------------------------------------------------**

"Shh!" Lily whispered, still laughing. "Someone is going to hear you!"

James laughed and whispered back, "Who? All the people in the corridor?"

The corridor was undeniably empty.

"That still doesn't mean we can go shouting through the halls!" Lily protested. "We are supposed to be getting _other_ people in trouble for doing that!"

"And what is the point of having special privileges unless we abuse them?" James retorted.

_Wow. No fight back Evans? She usually fights me back on stuff like this but for some reason lately she hasn't been…_

"And for tonight's entertainment," James continued, excited by Lily's lack of response. "A magic trick."

"Because we never see any of those at Hogwarts…" Lily said curiously.

"Tonight, Miss Evans, I am going to run through a brick wall." James explained.

Lily eyed him curiously. "Pardon?"

_This is going to be good._

"Feast your eyes upon this amazing stunt," James said, backing up, and running straight towards the wall next to Lily.

Just as planned, he went right through.

"James!" He heard Lily screech from the other side of the wall. "Where are you? Are you just using your invisibility cloak? Because I know you have-ah!"

_How does she know about that?! _James quickly emerged from the wall right next to where Lily was standing. "How do you know about my invisibility cloak?"

"Merlin, James! You nearly gave me a heart attack! Where did you come from? How did you…?"

"Come on I'll show you," James said taking her hands in his and walking backwards into the wall, pulling her towards him.

"I'm still a little confused," Lily said, seeming a little disoriented. "How did that happen?"

"Instead of a secret room," James explained. "I decided to show you a secret passage way,"

"How the bloody hell did you find out that if you ran head first at that wall it would bring you here?" Lily asked.

_Oh you have no idea._

James tapped the side of his forehead. "That is for me to know and for you to wonder,"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him but smiled. James' hand suddenly shot to the back of his hair and messed it up. For some reason he was getting more nervous around her. Ever since she started to treat him like a genuine friend he felt a jolt every time she smiled at him. Maybe there was actually meaning behind that smile now.

He then took his hand back down looked intensely at Lily. "Seriously though, how do you know about my invisibility cloak?"

Lily looked at him with a smug smile on her face. "That is for me to know," she said tapping the side of her forehead. "And for you to wonder."

_When did you become the cocky one Evans?_

"I'm keeping an eye on you Evans," James said.

"Like you haven't already for the past six years Potter," Lily replied.

_Touché. _"Touché," he replied aloud.

"So are we ignoring our duties or shall we go check out a few broom closets?" Lily asked. James so hoped that there was a deeper innuendo involved in that question.

"There's no one in that broom closet," was James' response.

"Oh really?" Lily asked. "And how do you know?"

_Because I have the Marauders map in my pocket…_

He then decided to, again, point at his forehead. Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"If you don't believe me go ahead and check for yourself."

Lily did just that. She turned on her heels and headed for the closet door.

James heard a disappointed. "Hmph!" and he walked up behind her.

"What did I tell you?" he asked.

Lily spun back around. _I guess she didn't realize how close I was…_

"Well, um, I guess you're right," she sputtered.

They stood there alone in the darkness for a moment all James wanted to do was close the distance between them. Lily however seemed to have a different idea and pushed past him and out of the closet.

"Let's check another one?" she asked shyly.

"Sure," James answered in the same tone, closing the closet door.

They were about to check in the next hallway when they heard footsteps getting closer and closer.

James was extremely amused to see his best friends running down the hallway: Sirius in his boxers holding a towel over his head, Remus chasing after him and the towel, and Peter lagging behind carrying what seemed to be Sirius' clothes. He could only imagine what Lily thought of all this.

"Padfoot! Really! We can't be out here!" Remus yelled. "Oy! Prongs! I'm so sorry mate, I'll get him back as soon as I can!"

"Wait up!" Peter huffed chasing after them.

James watched Lily turn around towards him.

_Oh great. She is probably going to make me chase them too and get them all put in detention._

"I would send them to detention but my loyalties, I'm afraid, lie with them over anything else." he said. "You've got to be the one to do it,"

Lily sighed. "I think I might let them slide on this one," she said. "At least until Sirius gets some pants on."

James couldn't rid the grin on his face for the rest of the night.

It was the next day and James was sitting with the rest of the Marauders.

"Nice to see you with pants on," he said to Sirius.

"Shut your face and get on with the plans," Sirius said hitting James upside the head.

Remus intervened. He could, rightfully, tell by the look on James' face that Sirius was about to get pummeled. "Alright. Well as soon as they walk out of the room then the slippery spell should kick in," he started.

"And th-then the feathers?" Peter asked.

"Not quite my rodent friend," Sirius said. "First they will be lightly coated in, how shall I put it, _goo._"

"We are quite brilliant." James said. "So the goo, then the feathers, then we will have quite a couple of birds for teachers,"

The whole school was in a riot as they watch their teachers become coated in feathers and running around frantically.

The professors of course knew it was the Marauders who played the prank, but they had no evidence to get them in trouble.

James and his friends then of course reveled in glory.

"I think I might take a walk outside," Remus said.

"It seems like a pretty nice day out," Sirius agreed with an obnoxious nod.

"Well I think might fly a few laps around the quidditch pitch." James said.

"I'll join you mate," Sirius said. James saw Lily's friend Becca pass by and Sirius got a smug look on his face. "On second thought, I'll see you later,"

James headed up to his room to get his broom. When he walked in his room he saw the tail feathers of an owl flying out his window.

There was a letter lying on his bed and he picked it up. It was from his parents. It was just a friendly letter, asking him how he was doing and wishing him well. James felt guilty for not writing them since he had been back at school so he sat and responded to their letter.

After he was finished James still really wanted to spend some time outside but wasn't sure if he felt like going for a fly today.

_Maybe I'll see if Moony is still out for a walk…_

James headed out of his room and saw Lily walking in and towards her room.

She smiled at him and said, "I completely forgot about my potions homework! I am going to work on it for a while but if you'd like I'll let you know when I am going to the great hall for dinner…"

_Is that a lily in her hair?_

"James?"

And the last bit of dignity left inside James snapped.

"Damnit Lily!" James said walking up to her. "I can't take this anymore!"

Before James could convince himself otherwise he bent down and kissed her. Everything that had happened in the past six years, every mean word out of his mouth, every nice word out of his mouth, every look, every hint, every want, _everything_ was all in culmination for this moment. The moment where Lily wouldn't pull back.

And she didn't; James did. He was no longer in complete control of his actions and he certainly did not expect Lily to react by saying, "I can't take it either,"

And she reached her arms around his neck, and pulled his lips back down onto hers.

And what was once worry and infatuation was now bliss.

________________________________________

Thanks for the reviews! Hope you enjoyed!


	6. sixth week

"James, really, what are we doing? You promised to help me study for my transfiguration test…" Lily said uneasily through a shiver.

"Come on, I'll help you later, I promise," James said, pulling her along.

"I should have brought my coat," Lily whispered mostly to herself.

_Why did I believe him when he said it wasn't that cold out?_

James put his arms around her and held her close, rubbing her arms to warm them up.

Lily shivered for a whole new reason.

"We're almost there, I promise," James said.

"And where exactly are you taking me?" Lily said, trying to focus on the path ahead and not his arms around her.

"I would expect you, Lily Evans: top of our class and head girl, to know what the word surprise meant." James said.

_Why is every stupid word out of your mouth so bloody clever?_

"You are truly hilarious." Lily said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

James took out his wand and whispered something.

"What did you just do?" Lily asked.

Before she knew it James' broom was soaring towards them.

"This next part is by broom," James said mysteriously.

"Why didn't we just go on the broom the whole time?" Lily asked.

James seemed deep in thought.

_I am dating an idiot._

"Not important!" James finally declared. "But I'm on the front this time," he said. "We'll go a lot faster that way."

"What makes you think I am even getting on a broom with you again?" Lily asked.

James mounted the broom and held out his hand. "Get on,"

_Damn._

Lily took his hand and then sat on the broom behind him, letting him wrap her arms around his waist.

When James took off Lily's reflexes caused her to hold tight and close her eyes. True, she had gone flying with James once before, but that didn't stop the fear from settling in the pit of her stomach.

"Open your eyes Lily," James said.

"How do you know that they're not open?" She asked.

"Are they open?"

"No."

James laughed. "Come on open them I want you to see this,"

Lily opened her eyes and all that was in her field of vision was James' back. She took a deep breath and slowly turned her head so she was looking at the world around her.

"Wow," Lily said, stunned to see thousands of lights dancing around the lake. "What are they?" She asked in wonder.

"Some sort of sprites I think," James said. "They only tend to come out around the equinoxes. Pretty neat, huh?"

"They're amazing!" Lily exclaimed, her fear of heights slowly fading.

"I'm glad tonight ended up being so clear, it's not raining or anything," James commented, seemingly proud of his clever planning.

"Look it's a full moon!" Lily said.

"Not until tomorrow," James said.

"How do you know?" Lily asked

"I uh I guess I overheard someone talking about it."

Lily smiled, looking out on the world around her and thinking about how she came to be in this moment. She laughed and then said to James, "If I was told last year that a year from then I would be here, right now, I wouldn't have believed it,"

James smiled and laughed. "I sure would,"

"I know you would have," Lily commented. "And as odd as it is to admit, since last year I never would have believed I would be sitting on the back of a broom flying around happily with you, I'm strangely happy to be proven wrong,"

James sighed, "Me too," he said. "More than you know,"

And Lily wholeheartedly knew that he truly meant it.

Lily sat down for breakfast in the great hall with James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Becca, Alice, and Frank. She looked down at her food for only a few seconds, and when she looked back up Sirius had somewhat managed to have his hand completely stuck in the jelly jar and Peter had a pitcher of juice on his head.

"What happened?" Lily exclaimed, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.

Remus was pulling the pitcher off of Peter's head and James was pulling the jelly jar off of Sirius' hand. In only an instant all four of them somehow ended up landing on the floor, followed by cheers of fellow housemates and fits of laughter. Soon enough they were situated again and everyone else was just waiting for the next obnoxious moment to happen.

"I don't even know how you get yourselves into these random situations," Lily said, buttering her toast.

Lily received a gentle nudge against her foot under the table and looked up at James who was smiling.

"Admit it, you know you love it," he said.

Normally Lily would have yelled and told him to control his bigheaded cocky attitude, but instead she found herself grinning, getting lost in his hazel eyes.

Just as soon as the world around her had slipped out of focus, it roughly snapped back in as an owl swooped down and dropped a large fancy envelope on the table in front of Lily.

"What's this?" Sirius asked, almost diving across the table for the envelope, that was, before Becca intercepted his reach, causing him to dive headfirst into the fruit salad.

"What are you doing?" Becca scolded, trying to contain her laughter as Sirius pulled bits of fruit off of his face.

Lily, slowly learning to tune the Marauders out, reached for her envelope. She looked carefully at the delicate writing on the front, and turned it over to see an intricate glossy white pattern covering the back. She shrugged and carefully opened it. Inside it read:

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Petunia Evans and Vernon Dursley_

It went on to detail the time and date but Lily could barely contain herself. She wanted to tear the card to pieces but instead she promptly put it back in the envelope and stuffed it in her bag.

"What's wrong?" James asked.

Lily sighed. "My sister is getting married."

James paused and Lily could tell he didn't know how to react.

"Well at least you got an invitation," Alice said, trying to lift Lily's spirits.

_I don't even know if I can look at that as a good thing_.

Lily composed herself and put on her best fake smile. "I've got to grab a book from the library before class, I'll see you guys soon, okay?"

Keeping a steady grin, she grabbed her bag and stood up, walking away from the table, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone, especially James.

She walked quickly down the corridor towards the library.

_At least I can have some quiet in there, I'll just try not to think about it, and I really should study some more for…_

But there was a sudden hand on Lily's shoulder that turned her around and she was face to face with a panting James.

"What's going on?" He asked, panting, having obviously chased after her.

"Nothing," Lily lied. "I told you, I have a transfiguration test and I just wanted to…"

"Lily, seriously, we both know I'm not an idiot," James retorted.

"Listen James, I'm fine. You wouldn't understand even if I told you, so please, just let it go."

"Please, if you just tell me I know that I can help," James tried.

Lily suddenly got heated and said, "You don't know that you can help!"

"Maybe that's cause you have never let me, but I sure as hell have been trying!" James yelled, causing several people in the hall to look in their direction.

James suddenly pulled Lily into a nook in the hallway and backed her up against a wall, placing his hands gently on the sides of her neck.

Lily lost all previous concentration and all she could focus on was the warmth of his body heat. And she certainly never expected to hear net next words out of his mouth.

"Listen, you have to understand something, yes, I may act arrogant, I may think I can do whatever I want, and yes, that may piss you off to no end, but you have to understand one thing, I care about you and if you're in pain I'm going to do everything I can do to fix that, whether you like it or not,"

Lily stood still for a few moments, staring at his face, watching him breath in and out, until she finally brought his hands down off her neck and held them by her side.

"Fine," she said softly. "I'll tell you what's going on."

So they stood there in that nook and Lily proceeded to tell James about her sister. She told him everything, she told him about every horribly thing her sister had done to her, and every time she wished things could be different. She told him about the horrible man her sister was about to marry and how event though her and her sister were always at odds, she couldn't stand to see her marry such a man. And that was the first time Lily Evans ever skipped a class.

After properly freaking out about missing class, and diligently copying down all of Remus' notes, Lily sat in the Head's common room, her head buried in her transfiguration book, already dressed in her pajamas due to anticipation of falling asleep studying.

She poured her heart out to James earlier and for most of the day the two of them couldn't have been better. Lily then suddenly noticed the Marauders getting quieter and quieter, and Remus was suspiciously absent at dinner. After dinner James had started acting antsy, and Lily couldn't tell why; he had headed to his room a while earlier, and Lily assumed he already fell asleep. She read over and over her transfiguration notes, trying not to be upset that James never helped her study, it was his best subject after all.

It was dark out and the moonlight was shining into the room, accompanying the firelight Lily was studying by. She then heard a sudden creak and turned to see James stealthily coming out of his room.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked.

_He's acting like he has to sneak out of his own room…_

"Just out…I mean going to meet up with Padfoot, I mean Sirius, and the uh, the rest of, yeah."

_That's not suspicious at all. _

"Well I was just asking," Lily said. "But now I'm a little bit worried. Are you alright?"

"Peachy," James said. "Couldn't be peachier or keener in any way."

"Fine," Lily said. "If you're off to plan another prank with the rest of the Marauders I won't stand in your way," she said.

"Right!"

"But just _try_ to remember that you are head boy." Lily pleaded.

"I try to remember that every day," James said. "And I often succeed."

_Of course. He doesn't even remember._

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well whatever you're planning I'd appreciate it if it doesn't interfere with me getting to class on time tomorrow. I have a transfiguration test. You know the test you said you would help me study for?"

James seemed to freeze in his place. _And now you remember._

"Lil I am so, so sorry. I completely forgot." James said.

"Just…don't make me late for class. Okay?" Lily asked.

He had been acting so strange after this morning and Lily hated herself for getting as upset as she was. At times like these she didn't know what to expect from him and didn't know if she was the cause for his strange behavior.

When his simple answer was in fact a question, asking, "I'll see you later, alright?" Lily wanted to slap him and hug him at the same time…but all she could do was sit there.

* * *

"James, really, what are we doing? You promised to help me study for my transfiguration test…" Lily said uneasily through a shiver.

_Don't remember that…note to self: help Lily study for transfiguration. _

"Come on, I'll help you later, I promise," James said, pulling her along.

"I should have brought my coat," Lily whispered mostly to herself.

_Guess that wasn't completely truthful when I said it wasn't cold out…_

James solved his error by putting his arms around her, quite enjoying holding her close and rubbing her arms to warm them up. Although he thought it might not have done any good because Lily started shivering again.

"We're almost there, I promise," he said.

"And where exactly are you taking me?" Lily asked.

"I would expect you, Lily Evans: top of our class and head girl, to know what the word surprise meant." James said.

_Oh the cleverness of me._

"You are truly hilarious." Lily said, James detecting her sarcasm.

James then took out his wand and whispered _accio broom_ under his breath.

"What did you just do?" Lily asked.

And just as expected, James' broom came zooming up to them.

"This next part is by broom," James said mysteriously.

"Why didn't we just go on the broom the whole time?" Lily asked.

James paused.

_Good question. Hmm maybe it was because…nope. There was absolutely no reason why we couldn't have taken the broom the whole time._

"Not important!" James finally declared. "But I'm on the front this time," he decided. "We'll go a lot faster that way."

"What makes you think I am even getting on a broom with you again?" Lily asked.

_Because you are unable to resist my charm._

James mounted the broom and held out his hand. "Get on,"

Lily seemingly couldn't help but take his hand and join him.

_That's what I thought._

He waited until her arms were tightly around his waist and then he took off. He instantly knew she was scared because her grip substantially tightened. He could also just _feel_ that her eyes were closed, but he couldn't let her miss this.

"Open your eyes Lily," he said.

"How do you know that they're not open?" She asked.

"Are they open?"

"No."

James laughed. "Come on open them I want you to see this,"

As soon as she spoke he knew they were open.

"Wow," Lily said. "What are they?" She asked.

"Some sort of sprites I think," he explained. "They only tend to come out around the equinoxes. Pretty neat, huh?"

"They're amazing!" Lily exclaimed.

"I'm glad tonight ended up being so clear, it's not raining or anything," James commented, deeply proud of his clever planning.

"Look it's a full moon!" Lily said.

"Not until tomorrow," James said.

"How do you know?" Lily asked

"I uh I guess I overheard someone talking about it."

_Good…that wasn't a complete lie._

Unexpectedly, James heard Lily say, "If I was told last year that a year from then I would be here, right now, I wouldn't have believed it,"

James smiled and laughed.

_I sure would._

"I sure would," he said.

"I know you would have," Lily said. "And as odd as it is to admit, since last year I never would have believed I would be sitting on the back of a broom flying around happily with you, I'm strangely happy to be proven wrong,"

James turned, hiding his grin. "Me too," he said wholeheartedly. "More than you know,"

James was sitting down for breakfast in the great hall with Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Becca, Alice, and Frank. He took one bite of bacon, which Sirius then tried to grab out of his mouth (James was unsure why because there was an entire plate in front of him) so he pushed it away, resulting in it thrusting into the jelly jar. Sirius had the pitcher of juice in his other hand and because of the sudden thrust the pitcher ended up on top of and stuck to Peter's head.

"What happened?" James heard Lily exclaim as he was pulling the jelly jar off of Sirius' hand and Remus was pulling the pitcher off of Peter's head.

_Yep, that's it, I can already tell we're going down._

And within seconds they ended up all crashing to the floor. This of course was accompanied with their own fits of laughter and the cheers of their fellow housemates.

Once they were situated again, James resumed his breakfast.

"I don't even know how you get yourselves into these random situations," Lily said, buttering her toast.

James smiled and nudged her foot under the table.

"Admit it, you know you love it," he said.

_What? No clever retort Evans? Not going to tell me to deflate my head?_

Despite his thoughts, James couldn't help but grin and soon he found himself lost in her emerald eyes.

Then suddenly an owl swooped down and dropped a large fancy envelope on the table in front of Lily.

"What's this?" Sirius asked, almost diving across the table for the envelope, that was, before Becca intercepted his reach, causing him to dive headfirst into the fruit salad.

"What are you doing?" Becca scolded, trying to contain her laughter as Sirius pulled bits of fruit off of his face.

James watched Lily slowly examine the letter. She opened it and suddenly a look spread across her face that James had never seen before.

_What's wrong? What does the letter say?_

Her eyes suddenly snapped back to reality and she promptly put it back in the envelope and stuffed it in her bag.

"What's wrong?" James asked.

Lily sighed. "My sister is getting married."

James had no idea how to react.

_Well this obviously doesn't look like a good thing. What could be so bad about that?_

"Well at least you got an invitation," Alice said in a chipper tone.

James observed Lily, knowing by her face that Lily was not seeing that as a good thing.

_I don't understand what's going on…_

James then saw Lily's all too famous fake smile.

"I've got to grab a book from the library before class, I'll see you guys soon, okay?" she said, keeping a steady grin, grabbing her bag and standing up, walking away from the table, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone, especially, James noticed, himself.

Sirius then did the most unexpectedly helpful thing: slapping James with the back of his hand and saying, "What are you doing Prongs? Go after her,"

James tore down the great hall and corridor until he finally reached Lily.

He gently turned her around and asked, "What's going on?" He said, unable to help from panting.

"Nothing," Lily obviously lied. "I told you, I have a transfiguration test and I just wanted to…"

"Lily, seriously, we both know I'm not an idiot," James retorted.

"Listen James, I'm fine. You wouldn't understand even if I told you, so please, just let it go."

"Please, if you just tell me I know that I can help," James tried.

Lily burst out, "You don't know that you can help!"

_You've got to be kidding me._

"Maybe that's cause you have never let me, but I sure as hell have been trying!" James yelled, almost not caring that everyone in the hallway was now looking in their direction.

James suddenly pulled Lily into a nook in the hallway and backed her up against a wall, placing his hands gently on the sides of her neck.

He could tell she had lost a great deal of concentration, and usually he would have congratulated himself and took advantage of the moment, but something like this was far more important.

"Listen, you have to understand something, yes, I may act arrogant, I may think I can do whatever I want, and yes, that may piss you off to no end, but you have to understand one thing, I care about you and if you're in pain I'm going to do everything I can do to fix that, whether you like it or not,"

They both just stood there staring until Lily brought his hands down off her neck and held them by her side.

"Fine," she said softly. "I'll tell you what's going on."

So they stood there in that nook and Lily proceeded to tell James about her sister. She told him everything, she told him about every horribly thing her sister had done to her, and every time she wished things could be different. She told him about the horrible man her sister was about to marry and how event though her and her sister were always at odds, she couldn't stand to see her marry such a man. James couldn't believe a lot of what he was hearing, he couldn't believe how he didn't know about any of it, and he couldn't believe how she could continue holding it in. But one thing James was sure of, and that was that this was the first time Lily Evans ever skipped a class.

James mildly enjoyed Lily's freak out session about missing class as he saw her frantically copying down Remus' notes.

There was one thing however that James felt terrible about. And that was that Lily had just poured her heart out to him, but all he could concentrate on was how awful Remus looked as he let Lily copy her notes. He was getting paler by the second and James knew that it was almost time for him to get himself away and to a safe place, a safe place that only the Marauders knew about.

Sirius and Peter both had class so James helped Remus sneak outside and to the shrieking shack. James forgot how difficult that was to do without Peter there, so he ended up with a few bruises. Needless to say Remus did not join them for dinner that night.

James, Peter, and Sirius were walking down the hall to the Gryffindor common room.

"I'll meet you guys outside of here when it's time. I've got the cloak so just try not to wake up the fat lady." James said.

"Easier s-said than d-done," Peter stammered.

"We'll be fine mate," Sirius said. "Just try not to wake up your flower,"

James ignored him and started towards the head's room, thankful that he didn't have patrolling that night. He wished that Lily did though, so he had an easier time of leaving without her noticing.

James thankfully got back before Lily and he retreated to his room, getting as much work done as he could because he knew he would be much too tired tomorrow to do it. After what seemed like hours and hours, which it probably was, he tucked his cloak away and headed for the door.

He hadn't heard movement for quite some while and as he creaked the door open he hoped that Lily was sound asleep in her room. She was not.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked.

_Damn. She had to be in here at this EXACT moment, of course._

"Just out…I mean going to meet up with Padfoot, I mean Sirius, and the uh, the rest of, yeah."

_Smooth. _

"Well I was just asking," Lily said. "But now I'm a little bit worried. Are you alright?"

"Peachy," James said. "Couldn't be peachier or keener in any way."

"Fine," Lily said. "If you're off to plan another prank with the rest of the Marauders I won't stand in your way," she said.

"Right!"

"But just _try_ to remember that you are head boy." Lily pleaded.

"I try to remember that every day," James said. "And I often succeed."

_Excellent. Witty comeback is on cue as usual._

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well whatever you're planning I'd appreciate it if it doesn't interfere with me getting to class on time tomorrow. I have a transfiguration test. You know the test you said you would help me study for?"

James froze. _Bloody hell. I am a bloody idiot._

"Lil I am so, so sorry. I completely forgot." James said.

_I don't have time to feel guilty right now. I need to go. Now._

"Just…don't make me late for class. Okay?" Lily asked.

And that was when James truly felt his heart split in two. He could never abandon his friends; never leave Remus alone on a night like this when he needed him most. But his heart also belonged to someone else now, and he couldn't abandon her either.

"I'll see you later, alright?" James didn't realize that that was the hardest question he had ever asked. And it remained unanswered.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it, I'll try to update asap!


	7. seventh week

Lily peered over her book and caught glimpse of James' piercing, amazingly hazel eyes. She immediately looked back down to the words in her book, but it was no matter, nothing was going to make her focus.

James cleared his throat, causing Lily's eyes to dart right back to his. She then annoyingly buried her head back in her book, first catching a glimpse of James ruffling the back of his messy black hair.

"Hey Evans,"

And for the millionth time Lily met his gaze.

"What?" She asked, agitated.

"Do your homework."

Lily was clenching her teeth, holding back every bad word in her vocabulary that she was wishing to spew at him. James almost laughed, a bemused look crossing his face.

_He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Calm yourself down. You dealt with this for six years already, just a few more months and you'll be rid of him._

"So how's the homework going?" James asked.

Lily snapped. She slammed her book closed and dropped it forcefully on the table they were sharing.

"Really?" she asked. "Really James?"

_Damn, you're supposed to be calling him Potter._

"Really." James grinned.

"You can't find any other place to do your work? You must do it here and constantly pester me for Merlin knows what reason?"

James seemingly pondered and then grinned. "Yep,"

Lily felt like pulling all of her hair out, and his in fact since he kept feeling the need to mess it up every ten seconds. She instead stood up and headed towards the door, planning to exit the heads common room and hopefully not return for a long while.

"Where are you going?" James asked, sounding almost genuine, Lily ignored him.

She was almost at the door.

"Lily?"

_Sure. Now you regret being a complete moron._

"I'm going patrolling!" Lily practically yelled at him.

"Good, I'll come with you," he said, falling in step with her.

"Not in this lifetime," Lily said.

"Come on, I can help you get it done in half the time," James tried.

"Why would I want that?" Lily spat. "I am going patrolling to get away from _you._ Don't you see that? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

James stared her in the eyes. "Because I love you."

_Damn it, Potter. Don't do this to me._

"Yeah, well we both know that isn't true." Was the only thing Lily could muster as a response, trying to keep back her tears. "How about I stay here and you go patrol, go and stampede down the halls, I'm sure the student body would go crazy over a stag running wild in Hogwarts."

James's jaw got tight.

Lily got a pang in her stomach; by the look in James's eyes she knew she hit deep.

"Sorry," Lily whispered without meaning to, and she tried to turn away.

"Lily," James said, grabbing hold of her shoulders before she could go through the door. "I know I messed up, okay? I've told you that a thousand times. Why can't you forgive me?"

Lily took a deep breath. "I can forgive you for trying to help your friend, I can almost forgive you for becoming an illegal animagus to do so, but I can't forgive the fact that you lied to me. As much as I want to forgive you for that, I can't. And you certainly make it easy for me not to forgive you. Acting like your usual immature self really helps your case."

"I was withholding the truth, not lying," James protested.

"Oh! And that makes it better!"

"How could I tell you the truth?" James asked. "You may mean the world to me, yeah that's right Evans, don't pretend you don't know, but this is the one thing in my life that has to come first. I can't just go spreading around the truth about Remus, and if not telling you meant keeping his secret then that's what I had to do."

"All these years you've been telling me to have faith in you, to trust you, and when I finally do…"

"You're mad at me for being loyal to my friends. And sorry to break it to you Evans, but that's not something that's ever going to change." James said, opening the door. "I'll go have a little stampede on my patrol. Enjoy your homework in peace."

The air was sucked from her lungs as the door closed in her face. A few tears stung in her eyes but she willed them away and continued on with her homework.

_Maybe I was too harsh on him…maybe I shouldn't be so upset. No. Even if I can forgive him _now_ for lying to me, he still started to act like a child again soon after and I can't bounce between the James I like and the Potter I hate!_

The clock ticked away as Lily finished up the last few lines of her homework. The whole time she was unable to decide if she could truly distinguish between her own thoughts.

_Is it really all or nothing for me? Do I either lov-, ahem, like James or hate him?_

Lily was disrupted from her thoughts as a loud knocking came from the other side of the door.

"It's Becca and Alice!" Becca yelled before Lily could even question whom it was.

"Is everything okay?" Alice asked as soon as Lily opened the door.

"Yes?" Lily answered, wondering why they were so concerned. "I was just finishing up-"

"We just saw Potter patrolling the hallways," Becca interrupted, "and he had this _intense_ look on his face…hard to describe."

"So?" Lily asked, trying to sound unconcerned.

"So…" Alice said, looking between Lily and Becca, "We assumed it had something to do with you."

"Assume away, how should I know?" Lily said, returning to the couch.

Her friends followed, sitting on the couch previously occupied by their current problem.

"So are you saying it doesn't have to do with you?" Alice asked. "Are you two alright? We know that you guys had some sort of fight."

"We're exactly the same as we have been for almost seven years," Lily said. "Nothing new there…"

"Cut the crap Lily!" Becca said.

Both Lily and Alice stared at her.

"We're your best friends!" Becca continued. "Remember the time where you used to come to us with all of your problems? You didn't used to keep them pent up in your secluded room! The room you now share with the person who was the _source_ of all of those problems!"

Becca was again met with shocked stares.

"I know you can't help your living arrangements," she continued more calmly. "But you've got to remember that we're your friends…you can't keep doing this alone."

Lily took a deep breath. "I know. I know…I just…it's hard. I don't want to believe the thoughts in my own head so when I tell them to you guys they become even more real." Lily tried to explain.

"Talk to us Lil," Alice said calmly. "We want to help."

"I don't know what I'm doing!" Lily burst.

"What do you mean?" Becca asked.

"With James?" Alice tried.

"Yes. I don't know what is going on." She said, beginning to ramble what was her previous inner-monologue. "There is a James I like, and a James I hate. Or rather a _Potter_ I hate. And I can't stand being around Potter, clearly, you guys know this, but I love being around James. Merlin I can't believe I said that out loud…"

"It's okay Lily!" Alice quickly came to the rescue. "It helps to talk things out."

"And we had a fight…I can't really explain it to you guys, but after that he reverted back to his annoying, arrogant, cocky, _insufferable_ self, and I can't stand him…again."

"So pretty much what you're saying…" Becca tried. "Is that you like the good James, hate the bad James, and are confused as to which one he is choosing because you need to choose if you like him or hate him…?"

"I guess so…" Lily pondered.

"Did you ever think," Alice interjected. "That they are all the same? Both of his sides? I mean you say you like _James_ and you hate _Potter_, but did you ever realize that he is _both _of those things? I mean he _is_ James Potter."

Lily was not sure she was ready for that revelation.

* * *

James watched Lily peer over her book for what must have been the thousandth time. He inwardly laughed as she immediately looked back down to her book as soon as she met his gaze; he knew she wasn't focusing.

James cleared his throat, causing Lily's eyes to dart right back to his, and then right back to her book.

James was unable to control himself from ruffling the back of his hair.

"Hey Evans,"

And for the millionth time Lily met his gaze.

"What?" She asked, seemingly perturbed.

"Do your homework."

James could see Lily clench her teeth and he held back another laugh.

_Why is this so entertaining and amusing? She looks like she is about to burst!_

"So how's the homework going?" James prodded.

Lily slammed her book closed and dropped it forcefully on the table they were sharing.

"Really?" she asked. "Really James?"

_Am I still_ James_ to her?_

"Really." he grinned.

"You can't find any other place to do your work? You must do it here and constantly pester me for Merlin knows what reason?"

James pretended to ponder and then grinned. "Yep,"

Lily looked murderous. James was holding back his apology, knowing it wouldn't do any good. When Lily stood up and walked away James immediately mimicked her movements, drawn to her like a magnet.

"Where are you going?" James asked, missing her before she left, but he was promptly ignored.

She was almost at the door.

"Lily?"

_Why can't I ever stop myself from acting like a complete moron? She wouldn't be leaving if I hadn't-_

"I'm going patrolling!" Lily practically yelled at him.

"Good, I'll come with you," James said, falling in step with her.

"Not in this lifetime," Lily said.

"Come on, I can help you get it done in half the time," James tried.

_Come on Evans, give me a chance here…_

"Why would I want that?" Lily spat. "I am going patrolling to get away from _you._ Don't you see that? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

James stared her in the eyes. _Do you really not know? _

"Because I love you."

Lily looked like she was about to cry and James wanted to do anything he could to fix it.

"Yeah, well we both know that isn't true." Lily hit him with the final blow. "How about I stay here and you go patrol, go and stampede down the halls, I'm sure the student body would go crazy over a stag running wild in Hogwarts."

James tightened his jaw.

_Don't go there._

"Sorry," James heard Lily whisper as she turned away.

_I am _not_ letting you go again_.

"Lily," James said, grabbing hold of her shoulders before she could go through the door. "I know I messed up, okay? I've told you that a thousand times. Why can't you forgive me?"

"I can forgive you for trying to help your friend, I can almost forgive you for becoming an illegal animagus to do so, but I can't forgive the fact that you lied to me. As much as I want to forgive you for that, I can't. And you certainly make it easy for me not to forgive you. Acting like your usual immature self really helps your case."

"I was withholding the truth, not lying," James protested.

"Oh! And that makes it better!"

"How could I tell you the truth?" he asked. "You may mean the world to me, yeah that's right Evans, don't pretend you don't know, but this is the one thing in my life that has to come first. I can't just go spreading around the truth about Remus, and if not telling you meant keeping his secret then that's what I had to do."

"All these years you've been telling me to have faith in you, to trust you, and when I finally do…"

"You're mad at me for being loyal to my friends. And sorry to break it to you Evans, but that's not something that's ever going to change." James said, opening the door. "I'll go have a little stampede on my patrol. Enjoy your homework in peace."

James only had reservations about fifteen minutes after shutting the door in her face, once the steam was respectively blown off.

_How can she not understand this? And how can she make me choose between her and my friends? Well…to be fair…that's not exactly what she is doing. But it doesn't matter! If she is so set in her ways, fine, I'll make no extra effort on her behalf. How is it that I got want I wanted and then it ended so quickly?_

James was so twisted in his inner thoughts that he barely noticed that he just breezed past Lily's two best friends giving him a quizzical glare.

He entered the Gryffindor common room as her two friends were leaving. He probably should have asked them where they were going because he _should_ have been patrolling, but he ignored that fact and made a beeline for the marauders.

Before he was even in their sights James heard Sirius say, "Here we go…"

"What the bloody hell am I supposed to do?" James burst, now in view of his three best friends.

"And cue Prongs freak out about Lily." Sirius said, nonchalantly throwing a pillow in the air.

James shot Sirius a death glare.

"Sorry mate, it's just that this is nothing new." Sirius explained.

James ran his hands through his hair and sunk down in front of his old bed. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked his other two friends more calmly.

_Moony will know what to do. He's always sensible…_

"Mind explaining the problem to us?" Remus asked.

James recapped the recent events of the past week with Lily, this evening in particular.

"And now," James continued. "Even if we both get over the fact that I, _gasp,_ lied, I think this whole thing is pretty unsalvageable."

"But I thought the plan was working…wasn't it?" Remus asked.

"Doesn't matter." James said. "Stupid of me to think she would like me back. I haven't stopped thinking about her since the first time I saw her…first day of first year. She probably tries to think about me as little as possible. There's more of a chance of us being friends now…but I can't take that, it would never be enough."

Remus looked solemnly at his friend. "You sure that's what you want?"

James didn't answer.

"Enough." Sirius said.

James looked up at him.

"Enough!" Sirius repeated. "You are in the saddest state I've ever seen you in! Even all the years before, when you would come babbling to us about how much you wanted Lily but were so sad she hated you, even then it wasn't as pathetic as this! You _finally_ tried something new this year and it actually worked! And now that baby Prongsy and his flower had a hiccup you come crying back to us? I don't think so. You know that you're in love with her, and you know that you're never going to give up on her, ever. So stop blubbing, be a man, and do something!"

Sirius was met with three silent stares, all of them in amazement.

"What?" Sirius asked. "You know it's true."

James knew that it was in fact that biggest truth ever told.


End file.
